Bit of a different one for you today. Grab a cuppa and a biscuit. I have a packet. That's a lie. But I wish I did.
So it's a Tuesday afternoon and I am sat with my feet up on the sofa - after turfing the dog off because the "no dogs on the sofa" rule lasted all of two seconds - with Pitch Perfect on in the background for company. And it's the first time, in what feels like forever, I have stopped.
Life has been....turbulent recently and any down time I have had has been filled up with trying to counteract all the rubbish or spent trying to make sense of everything. It never is simple, is it?
Between the every day bits of work and house responsibilities, and the not so every day of life-changing decisions and revelations I have been feeling pretty spent, leaving this little place to be put on the back burner.
It's not just the releif of writing on here that has fallen by the wayside it's writing for eveything, it's organising blog things that I've had in the pipeline for a year, it's understanding what I want from my time, and at some points it was my integrety. Which is the worst of the bunch. Obviously.
Way back three years ago - wait, three years?!...........just checked....three years! Wow bad blog owner for not noticing that before now - anyway, way back when I started this blog I decided it might be a good way to "find out more about myself". The truth of it is that it hasn't. At least not in the revolutionary way that I had hoped.
You know that saying "Life is what happens while you're making other plans"? It's bloody true. So is "time is a healer". I aged up recently and every time that happens I like to have a look over the last year and judge on the progress I have or haven't made. It's an accidental kind of thing and I only really ever realise I'm doing it after I've done it.This year was the first year that it was a conscious thought. On the surface of it all this year nothing much has changed at all. I'm living in the same house, I have the same job and all in all everything has remained the same.
Be that as it may on the surface underneath a lot has changed. For the first time in a long time I am starting to understand myself and live my life by that, rather than resisting it. Funnily enough, once you learn to do that things start to feel a whole lot easier. You get happier, and happiness - in the interest of complete honesty - is not something I have had much of in my past.
With this new revelation on my mind I have made some decisions. Some huge. Some not so much. One of these decisions - I'll let you decide which end of the scale it belongs on - is that I'm going to strip this space back to what it originally was: mine. I'm pretty positive that to you guys nothing much will really change but to me it really needs to. I need to take it back. To have it in my control again. Much like my decision to start using night cream on my face - seriously, aging up is a tough gig on the face. I'm pretty certain I woke up the other day and instantly had twenty new wrinkles. Sleep lines are real!
Gravity is not a friend of age, my friends.
Another decision I've made is that I want to discover more blogs. My list is ageing nearly as quickly as I am and blogs that I used to read seem to be dropping off the face of the earth. I need more, so hit me up in the comments with your links and I'll get reading.
Going back a paragraph or two....how brilliant is Pitch Perfect?! Love a good predictable American teen film.